he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
