So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
