I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
