im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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