when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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