Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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