Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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