if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
