I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
