I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
