3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
