My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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