I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
