oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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