I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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