I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
