i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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