There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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