All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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