I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All the doctor said was why
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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