its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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