I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize