when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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