If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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