so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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