I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
where does the pee come out of this thing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
