I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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