at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
