ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize