we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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