Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
