This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
