Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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