you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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