3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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