i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
