But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize