Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
