Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
