he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
