We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
