I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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