I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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