i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
