If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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