so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
