I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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