Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
