cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hippo gnu deer
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
