Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
