i think i have herpe
just one?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
