My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I look better un-naked...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
