And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
