standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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