Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
