The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
