i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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