I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Someone signed my nipple.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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