so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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