Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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