Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize