my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
